Mastering the Art of Active Listening for Sustainable, Long-Lasting Decision-Making in the Context of Meaningful Community Engagement.
I often find myself challenged by leaders in learning effective collaboration about the distinctions of decision-making. The argument that I often hear is that they have consulted enough before they decide and that they can’t consult and ask for input about everything.
Now, this is a valid question. How much consulting is enough to make collaboration effective and maintain sovereignty as a leader in the decision-making process?
Firstly, I like to start with an underlying principle to make collaboration work. The principle is to:
involve the people who are affected in the decision-making process.
Secondly, to make this work, it is important to know that collaboration does not mean everyone has to be involved in all decisions all the time. There are still many ways to make a decision. The importance of
collaboration is the involvement of the people who are affected, in a dialogue, about how the decision will be made before decisions are made,
and the way decisions are made is shared and agreed upon.
Subsequently, the key skills that are required for lasting decision-making, particularly when it comes to community engagement, are:
- active listening,
- facilitation of group dialogue,
- awareness of power structures and barriers and how to overcome them,
- powerful questions,
- presence and holding silence.
However, the most important distinction is to know that there are two parts to decision-making:
the dialogue part and the decision-making part.
In my experience, this often gets mixed up or rushed over. The people who are consulted in the decision do not have to be part of the decision-making process.
Additionally, it is worth remembering what it felt like when someone decided without consulting you and the decision affected you. I recently was in such a situation, and I would like to share my experience here as a reminder of how it feels and the consequences that followed. Here is an example that I experienced, which might illustrate what I mean. The example story has been slightly changed to protect some of the privacy of the people involved.
“My business partner decided to start a partnership with someone else and announced to me his intention after he already agreed on this with this new partner. Whilst the decision was, of course, his to make, the way the decision was executed was clunky and painful because there was no consultation with me on how this decision might affect me.
Subsequently, we ended in conflict, and I did not support his decision. I shut down and carried on with my life. Now, this decision was dramatic in my personal world. But can you imagine when it affects many more people on a very personal level?
On the other hand, if he had shared with me his intention of a new business partnership and opened the conversation about how this decision might affect me, I would have had a chance to share how this would feel for me and how I would like the decision executed. You see, I did not take his decision power away, but I had an opportunity to be consulted and included in how the decision would have been made. I would have been willing to cooperate with him and to find a solution that would have worked for both of us.”
Finally, I would like to summarise the steps of sustainable decision-making:
- Identify who is affected by the decision.
- Research existing power structures, barriers to attending and existing conflicts in the stakeholder community.
- Remove barriers to bring relevant stakeholders together.
- Share your intention. What is your plan, aim or goal?
- Listen to how this intention is received by the stakeholders. Listen to their concerns, wishes, suggestions, and requests. Listen to everyone.
- Agree on how this decision will be made; see the eBook below as a resource.
- Go and make the decision.
- Share the decision with the relevant stakeholders. If step 5 was done well and included all relevant stakeholders, this should be well received and supportive.
- Handle any questions as they arise and share your reasoning transparently.
67 Shades of Decision-Making – eBook
Dr. Dale Hunter and I researched several decision-making models facilitators use, and we created this short eBook full of resources and references to the different ways decision-making can be done.